“That's a GOOD man, Savannah”

On this Season 2 opener, Kawasi and Andre explore the Cultural Acceptance of Staying in Toxic Relationships. A Mouth Full Experience Podcast kicks off with a raw, unfiltered, and deeply necessary conversation that challenges one of the most dangerous cultural narratives we normalize: staying in toxic relationships because “that’s a good man.”

Hosts Kawasi & Andre Wells sit down with recording artist O’Cali (@ocalimusic) for a jaw‑dropping, heart‑wrenching, and liberating season opener. For the first time publicly, O’Cali shares the truth behind his 16‑year relationship — a relationship the world praised, but one that ultimately left him fighting for his life.

In this powerful episode, O’Cali reveals how his long‑term partner knowingly transmitted HIV to him through nondisclosure, a betrayal he only uncovered after becoming severely ill. His story exposes the emotional, cultural, and psychological pressures that keep people silent, loyal, and trapped — even when the relationship is harmful.

He also performs his hit single “Supa,” transforming his pain into art and reclaiming his voice with unapologetic strength.

A special thank you to The Wine Station DTLA (@thewinestationdtla) for hosting this unforgettable premiere. The Wine selection is the BEST in the Los Angeles, the eateries and Chucuterie Boards will make you come back again and again! And Trust Sue and nothing on their Tiramisu!!! Stop in today and say, "A Mouth Full Experience Podcast sent you!"

Season 2 is here — louder, braver, and more honest than ever.

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE
YouTube: @amouthfullexperience
Instagram & TikTok: @amouthfullexperience
Now streaming on: Spotify, iTunes, and Apple Music

Connect with O’Cali
Instagram: @ocalimusic
His Lucious Wet Lip Brand: Lip Baddie (@lipbaddie.vp)
Shop: www.lipbaddie.com -- All the baddies should be wearing this ALL SUMMER!

Live video available on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@AMouthFullExperience 

Kawasi, @kawasiofficial [Singer, Songwriter, Executive Producer]
Andrew Wells, @iamandremonroe [Writer, Actor, Executive Producer]

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Hey, what's up, everyone? It's Quasey.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

And I'm Mundray.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

And this is a Mount. Man, man, man. So we gotta start it off. This is our first season. This is our first season. First episode. Second season. Yep. We we've heard your uh what text, the DMs, uh, the calls. Um, and shout out to everybody because the first season gone hundreds of thousands of views um from YouTube uh to Spotify to iTunes. We are now streaming our first season. Yeah, everywhere is streaming everywhere, and now the second season is gonna be streaming everywhere, and we're bigger and better, and we just want to have deeper conversations and have just you know more intentional uh episodes. And speaking of intentional episodes, this is the first time ever that my dear friend, our dear friend, is is is telling his story. Um and so Sacramento, you you you you probably heard the song Super, and if you didn't hear it, he's gonna be performing it later on for us. Uh super uh Acoustic debut, right? Yes. So so so our dear friend came to us and wanted to tell the story. Um and and and upon hearing it, I I mean, I was in disbelief. Um, you know, what did you think?

SPEAKER_02 1:42

You know, honestly, it was something where it's relatable because it's something that happened in my family.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

So this episode is entitled He's a Good Man, Savannah. And so in a bad situation. Um, but this this episode um it's it's about betrayal, um, it's about staying in toxic relationships, um, it's about moving through hard times, but but in most, I think it's about survival. Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

And so honestly, but we before we even start this episode, we do have to say there's a this uh warning. Um before we begin, we have to say that there's some discussion about medical trauma, emotional abuse, yeah, and non-disclosion of HIV status.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Right. And and and and on today's episode, we're talking about toxic relationships, betrayal, yeah, survival, and the kind of the kind of healing that reshapes you and just you know makes you heal from the inside out. Um I know that after years of you know trusting your partner, after years of um believing in the old love, you know, um, you were put in situations unimaginable.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

You know, and I just want to say thank you for allowing Andre and I to tell your story and allowing us to be um the type of friends that you for you to be able to speak your own truth and tell your own story your way. Can you tell us a little bit about who you are, um, what you do, and where you're from?

SPEAKER_04 3:10

Yeah, of course. Um so I am O'Cali. Uh me and Quake's have been friends for a while. Yeah. Uh me and Andre are friends now. Yeah. Um I am from California. I moved over a lot. My mom was never stable. Uh so I lived in Oklahoma. I lived in California, Texas, all around. Uh, but originally from Sacramento, California. Yes, classic. At a 916. Um, but yeah, um, I I'm a singer, a writer. An incredible singer. Um, but yeah, you're performing for us later today. Yes, I am going to be I'm going to be performing my song Super. Um I wrote this song a long time ago. It's when I was going through a lot of things. Yeah. Currently going through those things now.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Um, aren't those the best records when you can write a song 10 years ago and you listen to the same record a day and it it still relates? That's how you know you have that that good stuff in you.

SPEAKER_04 3:59

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely. And it's definitely one of those records for people who feel like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders and they gotta really show out and really, you know, be that that person, that sequel.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Yeah. Um, I want to start off questioning if you don't mind. Um, when you look back at that chapter of your life, um, what is the first emotion that rises to the surface today when everything happened with you?

SPEAKER_04 4:25

Um, I would say sadness, almost. Um loss, like a the lot feeling of a loss, you know what I mean? Because it was such a I was with that individual for 16 years. Wow So um it would be more so like a loss, loss of memories that you feel like are a lie.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Yeah. So when when did when did you realize or you know we we should we gotta backtrack a little bit? What what what what what is your sexuality? What what what what do you what do you identify as sexually I'm pansexual? I am also pansexual. Okay, when did you first realize you were pansexual? Did you have you lived your life that way?

SPEAKER_04 5:03

Um the majority of your life? I would say recently. I'm not I'm I'm not attracted to like just a girl or boy. Like I'm a you know, like your energy. Yeah, pretty much. So probably early on.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 5:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Andre, you would you you you always say you're a good old whole fashion?

SPEAKER_02 5:20

I'm a good old fashioned homosexualist. You said I'm with all them other extra things y'all got going on. Like you know, like you, I like I you know, if you like it, I love it. I respect your guys' thing, but like I just don't like I I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 5:33

No, you know, don't judge me in here. I don't like I only like the means.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Yeah, but you know, honestly, in the words, the great words of Wendy Williams. I'm a woman and I'm gonna try to take in my mind. Okay. I don't know. I'm in the like the fishing pond. I don't know. We'll see. Hey.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

What works for you works for you.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Exactly. But no, that's right.

SPEAKER_04 5:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

So so so so let's let's we're gonna stay leveled and get a little bit more serious. Um what take me back to that moment um when you know how how did you realize you were you were being betrayed, or if there were there any other signs from your significant other um before the funk hit the fans, so to speak? Did you feel any anything odd or anything strange about it?

SPEAKER_04 6:18

No, um not any signs of that sort of that that betrayal. Um just signs of there was definitely a disconnect of him and I. Um, but nothing that you would think that this is the reason why there this this disconnect is happening. So then when that happened, it's like okay, now the now you're putting everything together.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Right.

SPEAKER_04 6:39

Now everything makes sense as to why he's acting like this or to why this situation is you know being different from what you used to be.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Yeah. If if you could uh uh speak directly uh to your family that may be concerned about how you're feeling and what you're going through, what would you tell them?

SPEAKER_04 6:58

Um I would just tell them a lot of my family don't know. Uh this is the first time I'm actually sharing this story with you guys. Uh they don't know that I am HIV positive.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

Um they don't know the reason why behind it, because you know, I've been with that individual for 60 years. So my mom, they all know him. My family knows him.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

So so in your words, can you tell us uh the story of you know the the the the what led up to you finding out that information?

SPEAKER_04 7:23

Yeah. Uh so in 2023, um I had started to get really sick. And I my I don't get sick a lot. You don't? I'm not I'm not a really sick person, so um I started to get really sick. It was around my birthday time. I was in San Diego actually. Um, and I just like felt like a weird, it's weird, weird feeling. And I've been going to doctors, you know, led up to the following year going to the doctors. Um they thinking I have cancer, or just all kind of different things that they're thinking it is. And mind you, this individual was paying for these things, correct?

SPEAKER_01 7:55

So, so so you're so he never told you no. So your then husband was going to the appointments with you. Yes. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 8:03

Paying for these appointments, right? Um so I ended up going to one of my I had I had two doctors, I didn't go to one of another doctor, and they were like, oh, you know, let's test you for everything, yeah. Right? Everything, let's do a blood test. And in my mind, I'm like, okay, yeah, you can do a blood test. I don't think it's gonna be anything wrong, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Right.

SPEAKER_04 8:19

So unfortunately, that same day that I found out, which was March 8th, 2024, I went to go visit one of my friends in the hospital who actually passed away that same day.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

Yeah. So I went to go see him, went to go have dinner with one of my friends, some of our friends, and I'm sitting there, I get a call, it's literally like six o'clock. And I'm like, why isn't my doctor calling me at six o'clock? Yeah. So when I get the call, he's like, you know, you're HIV positive. And I just turned pale. Wow. It's like my the individual that I was with, my ex-husband, I was only that I've only been with that man. I've never been with anybody else besides him. That's the only person I've ever had any type of inner intercourse with or relationship. So I knew that it wasn't me.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

Right.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

You know what I mean? So um, yeah, so I instantly went to the house. Like I'm literally three minutes away. I go upstairs, I ask him, like, you know, like, hey, the doctor said I'm HIV positive, you know, like that means you're probably positive. Yeah. So this whole time, I, you know, I'm thinking he as well as, of course, you're my partner. So you if I'm positive, you gotta be. Yeah. So, you know, but I just chopped it up to like, oh, you know, you guys didn't get tested, da-da-da, all this, just all that type of situation. We didn't get tested. He actually took an at-home test to see if he was positive. Of course he was. Oh my god. So uh I mean it led up to um the doctor giving me the information for a specialist. I called a specialist. I'm like, hey, I want to make an appointment for me and my husband. I give them my information, I provide them his information. They said, Oh, that individual individual's already in our system.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

You fucking so so so my question is how did you separate the shock of the illness from the shock of betrayal? Or have you?

SPEAKER_04 9:59

Honestly, I haven't separated yet. I still go to therapy. Right. I know a lot of people don't like it. I know a lot of us don't like I'm an advocate for therapy, guys. Therapy definitely uh especially for men of color. Yeah, yeah. So um a lot of that, um, a lot of just inner healing. Yeah. Um a lot of people ask me like how I'm still able to go through the daily life of like things that I'm dealing with. Yeah. And I just tell them, like, you know, it's nothing but God, like honestly. Um for that type of situation, you know, that individual I I had to find out through the doctors that he was HIV positive.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Um and and and so he do you feel like he knew he was?

SPEAKER_04 10:42

Yeah, he found out in 2017.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 10:45

Whoa. Yeah. He found out in 2017. So he found out in 2017. We go to the doctors, and literally the nurse is like, I'm sitting here, the nurse is here. She was like, Oh, I know you.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

I'm sorry, but I will be buried in the grave. Yeah. Somebody will be fucking buried in the grave.

SPEAKER_04 10:59

So that's eight years.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Eight years of betrayal.

SPEAKER_04 11:02

He found out in 2017, yeah, 2017, I believe. Yeah, somewhere around.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

So this still, this which you could have been avoided. It could be it's completely preventable.

SPEAKER_04 11:10

Right. And you, and then my thing is you had the option at that time to come and tell me. And you say the doctor knew him. Yeah, the doctors and the nurse knew who he was. Oh my damn. And that's the only way that's the only reason why it actually came out that he he would, you know, because I went to the doctor. Right. He probably still wouldn't have told me anything. Wow. You know, like he's having a conversation with my friends. Oh, yeah, you know, we just never got tested. But the whole time you were already tested, you tested positive 27.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Right. Every night keeping this from you, that that that's un that's that's that's psychologically like something's not right, you know. Like are you where where is the relationship with him now? There is none, there's no relationship.

SPEAKER_04 11:58

Um putting my legal hat on, are are we suing? Uh I'm not sure. I gave him a lot of grace. A lot of people ask me how I didn't know. Oh, you really, you honestly. I gave I and he the the crazy part is he he and it happened at a time where I was in the process of changing who I am.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

In the words of Shia Diamond, I cannot wait on grace. I cannot wait on grace.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

I'm gonna call them boys. Every family has them, every black family has them boys.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

But so so I'm I'm I'm usually rarely speechless on the show, and I just I just want to reiterate again, thank you for sharing this with us. How are you doing? Like, how are you what what changes have you made um for your health, not only your physical health, but your mental health. Uh are you still working on that?

SPEAKER_04 12:50

Yeah, still working on it.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Uh therapy a lot of it just to make sure you know you're good, a lot of grounding yourself, surrounding yourself with really good people, you know, like getting out of the situation that you were, just surrounding yourself with people who really want to be around you, enjoy those people at the time, you know, making sure because we're we're we're not, you know, hearing this news what 40 years ago is different from hearing it today, because you know, you still can live a relatively normal life that is true for those. And then we like we said, we do want to give a trigger warning because you know this is a heavy conversation, and if you guys need to pause and come back and watch this again to prepare yourself mentally, that is okay. But these stories, they're so important, especially because oftentimes with the people we love, we we trust them undoubtedly, and we don't hold the fire to their ass, we don't we don't push them to have the tough conversation, right? And so this is this is uh i a learning lesson because this shit is so much bigger than you, it has happening to you.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

But but but thank you for sh for sharing your story. I have a question. Have you been uh musically um writing about this? You know, have you uh uh have you do you have an outlet about it?

SPEAKER_04 14:04

Not really. I mean I write music every day, but nothing like based, I guess, around that in a sense. I guess I just write music just to write it. Nothing that like ties into my relationship. I feel like if that wasn't a thing, that'd probably be a hit record because yeah, it was a crazy situation, but you know, and the one thing that I also too is I I feel like you when you because I didn't even know.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

I honestly you just told me like I didn't know how long ago you did that. So that's even more floral. Right. And I even told you, like, I have a family history with that where I had uh my dad had a cousin, one of his favorite cousins who passed away from AIDS because her husband did the same exact thing. Yeah, well technically technically I do, I have AIDS.

SPEAKER_04 14:51

I don't know, technically I have AIDS, it's not HIV.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

So it's it it's one of those things where it is very it is upsetting if it's like from a thing or it's it's messed up. And the thing is it's also true, there is a very serious misconception uh misconception where people think that it's a deficit. Yes, yeah, it's about taking care of yourself and being responsible. Yeah, and I think it's even where I you know Mary to Medicine, one of the uh Jack Dr. Jackie, she even says like one of the most responsible things is if you are a sexually active individual, yeah, man or woman, gay or straight, you should be on prep.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

You should be on prep.

SPEAKER_04 15:25

Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

I I I want to ask you a question. Um how has this diagnosis uh shaped or reshaped your voice and your purpose?

SPEAKER_04 15:37

So I would say it makes me want to reach out to people more, more the community more in a sense. Like at first I wasn't really reaching out to the community, I'd like you know, but I want to really share the story that way people know it's not just someone out here being a hoe or whatever you want to, you know, make it be, but go get tested. If you if you have some type of feeling that that individual that you're with, I don't care if it's 20 years, 25, 30 years, if you feel some type of way and you ask that individual to go get tested and they do not get tested, then there's a problem. You gotta get that figured out.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Sheesh, I I I'm I'm I'm kind of flabbergasted because I know I know the individual personally.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

And I'm I'm just I'm I'm I'm gravely disappointed because you know, from from the individual that I know, it was always above reproach. Or are presumably um put it putting themselves uh putting you before themselves. Right. Right? So most likely because because of the lie. And uh uh do you have a message that you want to tell your family about uh how you're feeling and maybe those who will be catching this other what what do you have to say to your family?

SPEAKER_04 16:51

If you have anything, I want to let them know I am healthy. Okay, I'm I'm good, I'm living. You know, at first I was going to allow myself to give up because of the extent that I was at. Yeah. Um you have to have your T cell count is typically has to be in the 500s somewhere around there. Right. Mine was 10.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 17:11

So when uh the doctor that I seen told me that, she was like, she was like, I'm not gonna lie to you, but you you gotta get get it together because if you don't, then you most likely it's good that you found out now because you would have been dead in the next couple months.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

And for those who don't know what a T cell count is, can you explain what that is?

SPEAKER_04 17:28

It's just like your I believe it's like your white blood cell counts, right? It is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Yeah, so um it helps fight off um any disease, any any body um yeah. Adjectives and your if you would have even caught a cold, I would be you would be out of here. Correct.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

Yeah Wow. Um but yeah, I I'm happy, I'm healing, I'm living, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

Um what what message uh do you want listeners living with HIV or A's to hear from someone who's walking in the path and someone who's new to the path? Like what what what what did you not know that you now know that you can actually live?

SPEAKER_04 18:11

A lot of people, a lot of because at first when I like I said, at first I was just gonna give up. Like what's the point? Like who's gonna who's gonna want me or who's gonna, you know, wanna be around me, like you know, anything of that nature. And then luckily I have a really great circle of people who haven't treated me any differently than when I didn't know that I was HIV positive or whatever the case may be. Yeah um but to someone who is new, stepping into that and it's now they're part of their life, yeah, don't give up. Yeah, um, there's somebody's gonna love you. I have a now have a boyfriend who adores me.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Loves and adores you.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

So I some so somebody don't play about you either. He really don't. So there's there's there's you know, somebody for everybody. If you don't want to share your story, you don't have to share your story. It is completely up to you. But don't let your story change how you are in your everyday life. You gotta actually live through it and fight.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Um to your uh ex-husband that may be watching, um, do you have any words for him? Dust. Dust. That motherfucker dust. There's nothing there.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

What's the whole thing with Helen and Charles? Yeah. And people Christina! You know, when they say like, you know, Helen could have done a little bit more. That's that. That's how we're doing. Yeah. Wow. I mean, there's a special place. We call it Super Hell. That's where he's going. I'm sorry, you can't do that. That's just bad. That's horrible. It's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

It's horrible. That's inhumane. I mean, think about having a wife or husband, you know, and presumably uh And the fact that he knew you were sick and didn't say anything. Yeah, so he slept around. He slept around and slept around and claims he didn't sleep around.

SPEAKER_04 19:58

He claims he didn't. But I guess he thinks I'm stupid. Like oh, you just yeah, he claims he didn't.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

See, this is and you know, it's the whole thing when we talk about when people are in certain relationships, because you know what? The thing is like this, it's about open and honest communication. Yeah. And there's individuals that are on that, but they there's also individuals that protect themselves because they are in these situations. Right. If you're not open and honest, this is what happens.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

And you know what? You know, you you know what fucks up relationships, you know what fucks up marriages, communities, it's the secrecy. Yeah, it's the secrecy, it's a stigma of the secrecy. So, you know, if you like to suck dick every now and then, or you like to do whatever now and then, just be look, just be just tell me, just let me know, bitch. Let me know.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

You know, it's like but also tripping like that's not what you sign up for. If it's like, okay, I didn't sign up for it, then let's start, let's partner your ways and let's keep it moving.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

But but then again, it it it is the shame. It's the shame that's associated with especially with men. I think I think, you know, uh a lot of black men especially black men, you know, and um and and I grew up in the in in in the Southern Baptist Church. Right. And you know, where you're very sanctified. You know, I'm not a sanctified sister. Not that but there's this stigma, especially in the black community, in the black church, um, where um if if we don't see it, it don't exist. Right. Yeah, you know, don't ask, don't tell the situation.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

You know what? It's funny because that's why we named this episode because everybody knows when it exhale when Obama, he's a good man. To stay with the married man. To stay with a married man. Toxic. No, and that's we've all been in very toxic relationships, and sometimes there's people that will be like, you know what, just turn the other church. It's okay, it's okay. And not that.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

I've got I got that as well. A lot of people like, can you work it out? I'm like, there's no work in this.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

You can't know the situation, but in your case, you you weren't presumably in a toxic relationship, right? Nothing was toxic until it was toxic. That's that's that's the that's the kicker here. It was it was picture perfect.

SPEAKER_04 21:58

Right.

unknown 21:59

I had

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Hung out with you guys. Like I go to Vegas and hang out and whatever.

SPEAKER_04 22:02

Like coming over, you know, the whole couple with the dog. About to actually we're about to we're in the process of adopting a game.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

You know what's so funny? He was there when we launched the concept. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

And then he was there for John's.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

That's why it's very alarming. Yeah. We were actually in the process of uh adopting. Oh shit. We were in the process of adopting. I had literally had paperwork to fill out, get sent over, and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

So so I can ask you that on on that.

SPEAKER_04 22:33

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 22:35

No. I mean, it's not a problem with adopting alone. I just feel like that kid deserves to have an actual family. Okay. And like, you know, two individuals, but no. And I don't want kids no more anyway.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

So I we we we've been speaking about that enough. Um a lot of you guys don't know. Um O'Callie is an incredible uh writer, uh show producer. I mean, you have a lot of things that that we have in the works um going on. And then you have an incredible um lip line. Tell us about your your your your your your lip line.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

Yeah, so I created uh lip gloss line uh after this whole situation. I kind of went for everything that I wanted to do, because you know. Um but it's called Lipbaddie. Um where can we buy lip baddie? Lipbaddie.com is where it's at, yes, definitely. Um, it's gonna be lipbaddy.com um and then that Instagram is lipbaddy L V. Okay. So yeah, hit me up. I definitely working on more things, products for men and everything like that as well.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

We have a lot of uh a lot of different things shows in the in in the making. So tap in. I I wanna uh just uh bring a full circle to this moment. Um for what could have broken you, what could have buried you, um what could have made you want to give up on life, why did you decide to live? Why did you decide to push forward?

SPEAKER_04 24:06

Honestly, my my family. Um, even when I it's crazy when I when I talk about the diagnosis, yeah, I never feel bad for me. When I had the conversation with my ex-husband, the conversation was more tuned around you didn't care about these people. I'm not the person, unfortunately, I'm not a person afraid of death. That's a different human. Death is a thing, it happens. I'm not I'm not afraid to die. That's not true. But my mind was my godson, my mother, yeah, my my siblings, people who actually care about me, because people love me. People love me. So when I get so when I get sad or when I get when I get sensitive about it, it's because of that. It's never about myself.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

And and and the fear of not being able to say goodbye. Right. Wow. I mean, I I think that shows what type of person you are. I know you were gonna say something.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

I know I'm just you know like I said, for you to sit up here and to have because you know, honestly, yeah, most people are just giving up. And you, I feel like the one thing that I can say to you is like you I don't even get that. Yeah. You are not like you are. There's so much more life in you, yeah. You, like I said, you are just like you keep in a movie. Like even you always say, like, I have another idea, I have another idea, I have another you like you're you're living it. And so that that's the thing is it's like I feel like the one thing that people need to realize it's not it's you know, like you take care of yourself. Yeah. That's the one thing.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

But also it's not a death sentence, but it's definitely a mental death sentence.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

Yeah, I I feel like we we we tend to behave differently when we know that time is fleeting, right? Right? We when we when we know that you know any day could be our last. In in a lot of ways, it's a blessing to um to have something that naturally pushes you to be the best version of yourself. I want you to just take a moment really quickly and just look at that camera right there. What would you give someone who is struggling with the same thing you're struggling with right now? Like what what advice, if you can look directly there and tell them um from someone going through this, what would you what would you say to that person that needs a voice?

SPEAKER_04 26:11

Um just stay strong, honestly. Stay strong, surround yourself with people who love you. Um like I said, if you don't want to tell your status to the whole world, that's perfectly fine. But be honest with whoever you do go into the next relationship with about whatever it is, um and just love on yourself. It's gonna be a hard mental struggle. No, you're not gonna die physically, but you mentally you are going to you're gonna feel it. I I feel it every day mentally when I have to take pills in the morning. So just be strong. Um somebody will love you. Don't think that that's the case. There's somebody for everybody. And if you need me to hit you up, just hit me up, reach out.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

Amen. I receive that. Sorry. I got a little emotional because you have so much grace.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

I would have choked him out.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

I child. He got it.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

He got the good graces. You you you are a better person than me. And that's the crazy part, isn't it?

SPEAKER_04 27:15

I don't know, that's why. But the crazy part is if you win a while, I know. You got the nigga in you. Okay. That's why I was like, whoa. But no, you know what that's true. That's because I loved that individual. No crime, nobody. Right. Shut up. But I mean, that's is it was I was in love. Right. It ain't even my story.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Yeah, but fucking hey. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:43

And also, too, uh, and then we also have to talk about stigmas and misconceptions, too, because they're, you know, everybody knows and there's undetected, and people also don't understand that you know, when somebody's undetected, you can't pass it. You can't pass it on people. But also, you should still be responsible. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:01

I told my boyfriend as soon as we got together, I let him know instantly. I didn't know before we even, before you even come in my space, this is what I'm dealing with. I'm not gonna lie to you about it. You figure it out. Right. You know, so um, yeah, so definitely it's a bit it's a big difference. A lot of people think, oh, well, you have HIV, you're you're gonna pass it to me. That's not the case. Yeah. As long as that person is actually taking care of themselves, it's it's not gonna happen. I was I was undetectable within the first two months of me uh fighting out.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

And also, too, it's just like preventative measures. Like, you know what? Like it's just get your health together. Yeah, you know, there's prep. And also, too, there's other stuff too, because there's docs prep, which I actually're I had to tell Quasey about that.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Yes, I I I thought he was saying somebody was doxing me.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Well, no, because there's other, you know, I mean, yes, there's HIV, but there's other there's other STIs. Yeah, definitely. And you know, docs prep is another good like preventative measure, and that's these are things that like you know, gonnery, like yes, these are like and don't want to be stuck with them, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:56

But but uh but all jokes aside, these are the conversations that we're having uh this season. We're not fucking shadowing away from real life conversations and things that affect our communities. Um I think that we we get caught up in, especially uh being in the industry, right? Yeah, it's the likes, it's the give me, it's the meeting. You don't want to get heavy, it's the I don't want nobody to know this about me because they're gonna think so. No, no, no, no. We're gonna be facing the real and um we're gonna having these tough conversations and we're gonna be allowing our own narratives to be pushed forward instead of people taking it taking our stories and making their own narratives from them.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

So Because the one thing that you can fuck up is if you don't ever let somebody tell your own story, yeah. That's where we want people to come on.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Tell it for yourself. Power in that. We love you.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

Yeah. I love you guys too. You know?

SPEAKER_01 29:49

And uh we agree. I'm looking forward because you said you said you were gonna be singing a little something, something, something.

SPEAKER_04 29:55

Yeah, I mean, I can do a little one-two, a little one-two.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

So can you tell us can you tell us uh the name of the song you're gonna be performing? Uh yeah, yeah. The name of the song is super. And why did you write it? When you in that space when you wrote it.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

So in that space, I was more so uh thinking about my mom. Um, because she goes through a lot. She's a real hustler. She raised six kids by her by herself. Wow. Six? Yeah, six. Sheesh. So um I was thinking about her. Shout out to moms. Yeah, she was calling me, you know, asking me for things, you know. I and I I want to provide. I don't I might not have it, but I'm gonna still provide. For my family. Right. For my family. You know, recently my sister just passed away a couple months ago.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

So our condolences, we love her. And this episode is actually dedicated to his lovely sister. Yeah, we love you.

SPEAKER_04 30:44

Um harder now than what it did when I originally wrote it. Um, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Wow. Thank you. Um, can you tell people where to find your music, how to connect with you? And your lip products.

SPEAKER_04 30:59

Yeah, so O'Cali Music on everything, I believe. Yes, O'Cali Music on everything, Instagram, TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Can you spell that for people that can't spell it?

SPEAKER_02 31:08

Hey, common sense is not that common anymore.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

So it's gonna be O Cameron.

SPEAKER_04 31:14

O C L A I music. Yes, O'Cali Music on everything.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

So Well, we love y'all. Stick around for O'Cali Sanging Super Right up next on my mouthful. I can't say. Oh, yeah, that's bad love. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:26

I'm gonna have sex, honey. All right, cheers. And we out.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Hey, what's up, everybody? We're back at it again in season two. Look, I've had the opportunity to introduce you all to some incredible artists, but not a lot of them are my own personal friends. This artist makes music about his life, and he makes music about the soundtrack to our lives. He's a motherfucking superstar. Everybody, please welcome O'Callie with Super.

SPEAKER_03 32:02

Malfo, what up?

SPEAKER_04 32:05

It's been a long time coming. Um, I'm so happy to be here and to sing this song for you guys. Um, when I wrote this song, I was going through a lot at the time, and I'm going through a lot more now, so it hits a lot harder. So I hope y'all enjoy it.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

I wanna give my life right. Cause I know I gotta provide for my family. I done been to some chip. I don't know how I do this shit, but I still do it And I gotta stay strong. I wanna see them live right. So I gotta give my life right because they dependin' on me, and they think that I'm stupid So I gotta be stupid I know my family depending on me, got no one to look to with me, so I got to be stupid I hate when my mama come in and tell me that she be struggling. I wish I could change it, ain't got nothing Feel like I'm the only one that can't do something, so I got to be stupid And she think that I'm stupid I know my family depending on me Got no one to look to but me So I got to be super I gotta be super And they think that I'm super I know I'm family depending on me I know what to do with me Soup